Clive Owen is some English bad-ass who must protect a mother and child from a nerdy assassin, played by Paul Giamatti. The ridiculous premise, great cast and simply incredible title has made this one of our most-anticipated movies of the year. And the trailer doesn’t disappoint. Check it out below.
Archive for the ‘CinemATTIC’ Category
Shoot ‘em up – Trailer
Saturday, June 9th, 2007Thundercats are GO!
Wednesday, June 6th, 2007
By the sword of Omens, looks like Warner Bros. have gained sight beyond sight. After commissioning another He-Man film, they have well and truly been bitten by the nostalgia bug and have optioned a script for a Thundercats live-action movie.
According to Variety, the script, by Paul Sopocy, is an origin story (as everything must be nowadays) detailing Lion-O’s path to becoming the leader of the Thundercats. All the favourites will feature including Tygra, Panthra and Cheetarah.
We’re banking on Gary Oldman as Mumm-Ra. And Rob Schneider as Snarf.
5 Would-be Breakfast Cereal Movies
Tuesday, June 5th, 2007There comes a time in every man’s life when he’s sitting at the breakfast table, staring into the vacuous eyes of the animated rabbit on the back of the cereal box in front of him and he thinks “this guy should get his own movie!” Well now, thanks to the magic of warped imagination, here are the five breakfast cereal movies that are most deserving of being snapped into production.
1. Movie: Snap, Crackle and Dead
Characters: Snap, Crackle and Pop
Tagline: Evil has a new face
Plot: World-weary homicide detective Sam Snap and his play-it-by-the-books partner Detective John Crackles are hot on the case of the Pop serial-killer, a deranged ex-mental patient who accidentally kills people in hilariously clutzy ways. Along the way, Snap must struggle with his methodone addiction, pay his ex-wife’s child allowance and deal with his confusing feelings for Crackle.
Oscar Worthy Scene: (After just blowing up a crack whore house run by tyrannical Mexican midgets disguised as nuns and costing the city millions of dollars, the chief forces Snap and Crackle to hand in their badges and guns. But that doesn’t stop them from getting to the bottom of the mysterious spate of hilarious slapstick killings that have been occurring all over the city)
Crackle: Dammit Snap, why won’t you play by the rules? The chief is gonna have my ass for this.
Snap: You know I can’t do that Crackle. Lives are on the line and someone’s gotta pay. I’m gonna get this Pop son-of-a-bitch if I die trying. And Crackle, if I don’t make it outta this, I just wanna say… uhh…
Crackle: I love you too, buddy.
Snap: No, I was gonna say that Rice Krispies aren’t just puffs of air, you know. They actually provide 28% of your recommended daily allowance of calcium and fibre.
Crackle: And they taste a treat too!
Snap: That’s right, Crackle. NOW LET’S NAIL THIS MUTHERFUCKER!
What the critics are saying:
“Snap, Crackle and Dead is an edge of your seat, urine-inducing rollercoaster thrill ride of a movie that is almost as fun to watch as Rice Krispies are fun to eat. And they’re a damn-sight delicious too, providing 28% of your daily recommended daily allowance of calcium and fibre.”
- Back of a Rice Krispies box
“What a piece of shit.”
- New York Times
“Mommy, what’s a crack whore?”
- Timmy, age 5
10 Things we learned from Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Sunday, May 27th, 2007WARNING! SPOILERS AHEAD!
1. Purgatory is filled with helpful rocks/crabs that will gladly crush themselves under the weight of an enormous boat just to help some guy who talks to himself.
2. Contrary to popular scientific belief, the world is not round. It actually ends with a giant waterfall that leads to the Sahara Desert.
3. Johnny Depp will lick anything he finds on the ground, for no apparent reason. He’ll even lick his own brain, given half a chance.
4. In the battle of ‘get off the screen you irritating twat’, Keira Knightley surprisingly bests Orlando Bloom.
5. Geoffrey Rush makes wispy facial hair look cool and Bill Nighy makes face-tentacles look cool.
Review – Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End (2007)
Saturday, May 26th, 2007
In 2003, I tentatively bought a cinema ticket for a Disney pirate film based on a theme-park ride which had never failed to underwhelm me as a child. I was sceptical to say the least. Not to mention that the last pirate film I’d seen had Geena Davis in it and was… shite. I was never so glad to have been proven wrong. Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl was pure, popcorn munching blockbuster gold and it was everything that a good summer movie should be.
And now we’re on sequel number 2 and that summer of 2003 is starting to look as golden as the summer of 78 must look to hippies and Bryan Adams. At World’s End is plagued by similar problems to Dead Man’s Chest. Orlando Bloom is again at his hammiest, but is amazingly outdone by Keira Knightley’s pathetic performance as the ‘babe with attitude.’ She’s neither convincing as a babe, nor a pirate, leaving her to merely float through the film in an unfortunately beefed-up role.
The Golden Compass Trailer
Thursday, May 24th, 2007
I can’t wait for this movie. I’m a huge fan of the books and fantasy films in general (Hawk the Slayer blew my mind), so this is the big one I’m looking forward to this December. However, I don’t approve of New Line Cinema’s tacky Lord of the Rings linkage to kick off the trailer. I understand that Philip Pullman’s trilogy has a much smaller fanbase and the films will require a wider marketing strategy, but it’s misleading to Tolkien fans to market The Golden Compass as a similar beast to the Rings trilogy when they are different in almost every way imaginable. Hopefully, Weitz and co. can do justice to an incredible series of books. And judging by the trailer, they’ve done a good job so far.
John Rambo Trailer
Thursday, May 24th, 2007
Sylvester Stallone follows his late-life crisis biopic Rocky Balboa with a revisit to another staple of 80s extremism, Rambo. John Rambo as he’s ever so cleverly called it (I would have gone with Rambo IV: Fuck Em All to Hell… Again) will mark the fourth time that entire armies will regret pissing off one guy. This time, Rambo is again coaxed out of voluntary solitude (where he knits, writes about his feelings and mends boats or something) to rescue some idiot war-protesters who head on into Burma unarmed to ask them nicely to stop fighting. Using only his bare-hands and his exploding bow and arrows, John shows those pissy protesters that there’s only one way to stop a war. And that way is John Rambo.
WARNING: The following trailer contains scenes of extreme manliness and all out testosterone-fuelled brilliance that may offend subscribers to reality.
The Joker Revealed!
Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007
After so many fake Joker images appearing online (who’s bothering to make those?), Heath Ledger’s look in The Dark Knight has finally been revealed. And it comes through a well thought-out marketing strategy.
Last week, a campaign poster for Harvey Dent (Aaron Eckhart), who later becomes villain Two-Face, was released on ibelieveinharveydent.com. Then a few days ago, a link was made to ibelieveinharveydenttoo.com, which revealed a vandalised image of the campaign poster, evidently made by the Joker. After inputting their e-mail address, users would then receive an e-mail linking them to another site, which would ask them to remove a pixel. After a sufficient amount of pixels were removed, the image on the left was revealed.
And it’s a pretty scary indication of the gritty Christopher Nolan treatment that the Joker has received. We can’t wait for this film. If it’s half as good as Batman Begins, then that means it’ll be twice as good as X-Men 3. And ten times as good as Superman 4. And twelve times better than Spiderman 3. And so on.
Click the image for a larger view.
Review – Zodiac (2007)
Monday, May 21st, 2007
Dave Corkery
Here’s a brief re-enactment of the conventional serial-killer-thriller that we, the audience have become accustomed to:
Act 1: Tough as nails, world-weary cop Sam ‘QuickFire’ McHardBalls is teamed up with a no-good-rookie sidekick, Johnny ‘Cannon Fodder’ McOptimist. When a series of grisly murders turn up on their desk, they realise that there’s some sick mutha out there with a taste for people-blood. McHardBalls at this point may utter; ‘I’m getting too old for this shit.’
DVD Review – Stranger than Fiction (2006)
Friday, May 18th, 2007
By Tom Fitzpatrick
Films that make you think while trying to keep track of dialogue at the same time can be one of two things: frustrating or fulfilling. I loved the premise of Stranger than Fiction. I loved the idea of a character in a film realising he is a character in a novel and that his life is being both narrated and created by the same god, an author who believes in fate and yet controls the destiny of the character she has created.
