You know how you're sitting in the movie theater watching something good, then the person to your left or maybe in the row behind yours does something that seizes your attention? Let's say his cell phone rings. And let's say he answers it. Then let's say you, unlike the boob on the phone, are too well mannered to lash out at this person. (Seriously, let's just say that, rather than say you just don't have the genetic constitution to tell him to shut his trap).
So he keeps talking, you sit there fuming, while that really good movie you paid all that money to watch is playing around you. You might eventually snap and go, "Sssshhh!" And maybe all the other well-mannered patrons around will call you a hero - before the melee erupts. But if this is happening to you at a Regal Cinemas location, you now will be empowered to push a button on a control pad (presumably the one that says "other disturbances") and an employee will show up to snap the phone shut, so you don't have to. According published reports, the device is called the Regal Guest Response System, and it has four buttons (the other three are "sound," "piracy," and "picture") that are designed to pinpoint the nature of the problem obviously, but also the degree of response. It's a welcome, if curiously passive-aggressive achievement.
Still, there are questions. Does a designated portion of the audience get one of these or are they available upon request? Does using one qualify you for the moviegoer protection program? (Because surely the megaplex will become a new frontier for the Stop Snitchin' contingent to intimidate.)
And what of that "picture" button? Does the signal go to the projectionist's booth or the studio that made the offending film? If it’s the latter, a run-of-the-mill evening at “Pirates of Caribbean” just got a lot more interesting.
