“The Earth’s a garden, and we’re the pest. Well, someone finally called in the exterminator.”
For those unfamiliar, Masters of Horror is a Showtime TV series that consists of thirteen one-hour films per season. Following each picture’s television debut, the made-for-TV movie is released on DVD. Each film is unique in terms of director, star, and subject matter.
In the case of the seventh “episode” of the second season entitled The Screwfly Solution, the director is Joe Dante (Gremlins and The Howling); the topic is the apocalypse via bioterrorism; and, the star is Jason Priestley. Viewers beware: if Screwfly is any indication of the Masters of Horror series, shun these trashy featurettes at all cost.
The Screwfly Solution begins with 1,100 homicides in Jacksonville, Florida; in every case, the victim was female and the murderer male. Typical male sexual urges have mutated into vicious attacks, and this violent rage begins to spread to other cities like an infectious disease. From July to December, the extermination of the female race results in the genocide of humankind.
Out to stop this parasitic mindset is a pair of scientists named Alan (Jason Priestley) and Barney (Elliot Gould). The only known cure is castration, and when Alan returns home thinking that he can suppress his urges, he endangers his wife Anne (Kerry Norton) and daughter Amy (Brenna O’Brien).
With its static screen transitions and unnecessary ending, The Screwfly Solution is executed poorly. The static is reminiscent of White Noise, and the abrupt alien finale is as detrimental and uncalled-for as the spider conclusion in It. Furthermore, with a one-hour running time, it is difficult to decipher whether the production is an attempt at a romance, a scare, a thriller, or a political piece.
Speaking of politics, no other film presses its misogynous tendencies to such a max. Characters are quoted as believing “rag heads hate all women,” ordering “woman, fetch me my slippers,” and calling females names like “stupid bitch(es).” Not to mention, the women in the film are depicted either dancing naked for men or getting stabbed, shot, or having their necks snapped. In Screwfly, women are literally hunted like deer, and in one case, a breast becomes a trophy in the form of a bullet bag. What’s most distasteful is that all of the female killings are justified by the “Spirit of God.”
To correct The Screwfly Solution’s main premise, the dying breed is not the female species, but rather the horror genre itself. By prefacing the insect-inspired title with “Masters of Horror,” Screwfly proves that “masterful” horror is a dwindling species. Trust me, The Screwfly Solution is far from masterful; it’s master crap. It’s as productive as a larva and as tasteful as a maggot. Get out the swatter, and smear this one into the wall.
