Season 2, Episode 1: Aired on June 11, 2007
Part 1
Previously on Big Love: The whole damn first season. But, in case you wanted specifics, here’s what HBO thought we should know, even though some of this doesn’t even come up in this episode.
After my tape briefly freaks me out by randomly cutting to ABC, we get to the good stuff: Roman, the prophet, wants his 15% of the newest Hendrickson’s Home Plus, but Bill insists that it’s a separate entity, so Roman can basically go screw himself. Nicki, Bill’s second wife, doesn’t understand why Bill can’t just like her evil, evil father, who just happens to be Roman. “I don’t want him in my homes!” we hear Bill roar again.
Then, they take us way back to the first episode where Bill’s dad, Frank, is sick. Barb says that they swore they’d never go back to Juniper Creek and that she meant it. Anyway, we found out that Frank had been poisoned with arsenic.
In other sister wife news, Margene, Bill’s third wife, watched Love Actually with her nosy, but sweet neighbor, Pam. Ben, Bill’s hot teenage son, basically tore into her, telling her that she had to be careful with who she had over, protecting the family, and blah blah blah. Finally, he asked her if she was unhappy, and in response, Margie launched herself into his arms, for a sweet, if more-than-slightly inappropriate hug.
Barb told fellow First Wife Peg that she’s having an affair with Bill and was promptly and bluntly chastised by Peg, and told that Bill was not going to leave his other wives, so Barb should just stop pretending that the situation is something that it’s not.
Speaking of Peg and Don and the other two sister wives, Wendy from Hendrickson’s Home Plus suspected Don of being a polygamist and told Bill so, not realizing that he himself is a polygamist. Don expressed concern with being “stuck in bed with Juniper Creek.”
Bill thought he’d washed his hands of Roman, but boy was he mistaken. So, he wanted eyes on the UEB Council and approached a guy named Earnest Holloway, and essentially took his seat on the council. Roman got angry.
Meanwhile, Margie’s friend Pam started to suspect Nicki of polygamy and Teeny put Barb up for Mother of the Year, a position that would very much put her out in the public eye. Oh, and Margene’s pregnant.
Then, we had the annoying Rhonda, who was to be sealed to Roman, even though she’s not even 16. She seemed very excited about marrying the Prophet. But, you know who wasn’t so much with the excitement? Heather, Sarah’s LDS friend, who told Sarah that it was wrong and that something needed to be done. Sarah quite understandably freaked at the prospect of Heather potentially outing her whole family.
Additionally, we have the Wanda-is-crazy plotline, where she has this little problem where she sort of poisons people. Yup, it was she who poisoned Frank and now she’s poisoned Roman’s son, Alby. She claims she does this to protect her husband, Joey, who also happens to be Bill’s brother. Roman got angry.
And finally, Roman outed the Hendricksons as polygamists, right as Barb was about to accept her award as Mother of the Year. She was disqualified on the spot and led off stage in front of the entire audience, including her children, in a horrifying scene that was very hard to watch. “I got what I deserved,” Barb despaired to her fellow sister wives.
Whew. Got all that? I may have to look into compiling a FAQ for new viewers. Let me know what you think about that in the comments.
Two minutes of previouslies? Really, HBO? Luckily, this was the premiere, so it’s unlikely they’ll do that again, but geez. On to the actual episode.
Credits. God only knows how Jeanne Tripplehorn really feels about Waterworld.
We open up on blue skies and pan down to Sister Wife Central, settling on Barb’s house, where Nicki and Margene are figuring out the weekly chores. Margene keeps piping in and saying she can do things, but Nicki keeps shooting her down with flimsy excuses, like “You have enough to do.” She won’t even let Margie cook dinner. Have I mentioned yet that I can’t stand Nicki? No? Well, I can’t. Just so you know. Also, Ginnifer Goodwin looks like she’s lost some weight that she really didn’t need to lose. Particularly in her face. Maybe that’s just me, though.
Bill wanders in, talking on the phone. We focus on a radio that’s giving a report on the Third Annual Safety Net Meeting that was held at the University of Utah, where representatives from seven communities of polygamists met with the Attorney General’s Office. I’m not sure what this has to do with anything currently, but since they focused on it, I figured I would, too.
Bill looks out the kitchen window and watches Barb do some pretty vigorous laps in the pool. Jeanne looks fantastic, by the way. But I still feel as though she probably wasn’t thrilled with the underwater shots of her thighs wobbling past the camera, all “Hi, mom!”
Bill dusts whoever he’s talking to and talks to some guy named Lee, who I think is his lawyer. He tells him he needs to find out who exposed them and wants Lee to find a contact at the First Lady’s Office. They’d need to talk to the First Lady’s Office because she’s the one who put on the Mother of the Year thing.
Nicki and Margene. Margie actually needs a new back door mat for her OWN HOUSE, so she obviously tells Nicki to let her do it. Nicki practically rolls her eyes and is all, “Margene,” as if she were talking to a child. Now, I know that Margie is immature and needs to be handled every once in a while, but MY GOD. It’s just a back door mat. How can she possibly screw that up? To me, Nicki’s behavior toward Margene all goes back to her being furious that she’s not the Boss Lady, so she figures she can just control Margene the way Barb controls everything else.
Bill walks in and tells them to get the mat at Home Plus and Margie tells him that Teeny needs to be registered for summer school, so she’ll take her.
“No, you won’t,” Bill argues. “Barb will. Guys, it’s been two weeks and she hasn’t left the house. All she does is these crosswords.” Nicki quietly says that she doesn’t seem ready. “Well, this isn’t healthy for her! I don’t think we can indulge her anymore, or coddle her. And I mean it! Either of ya!” Why is it that Paxton sometimes whips out this semi-southern accent? Also, why is it that he delivers every single one of his lines as if he’s pissed off at the world? He’s just so rude to his wives, particularly in the way he speaks to them. There was no reason for him to get all pissy just there.
Nicki waits for him to leave and then immediately moves all of her stuff over to Barb’s usual seat at the head of the table. Margene does a facial stutter and sort of looks back and forth between Nicki’s old seat and her current position in Barb’s seat. Nicki just hums cheerfully. Hee.
Barb is in her bedroom when Bill walks in and too casually asks about her swim and whether she’ll be taking Teeny in to summer school registration. “I plan on it,” Barb says tersely.
Bill: Good. (awkwardness) Okay. I’ll … see you later then. (pause) Our world can go to Hell in a hand-basket, but as long as we stick together, we’ll be alright.
I hate it when Bill does that – goes all preachy and philosophical. And it’s usually out of nowhere. Yuck. Barb clearly agrees with me because she totally doesn’t even acknowledge his existence.
Bill leaves Sister Wife Central, but is caught off guard when Nosy Neighbor Pam and her husband, Carl, wave to him hesitantly and generally act all around goofy.
Hendrickson’s Home Plus. Bill greets his employees and then he and the infamous Wendy end up walking side-by-side. Here’s what they actually said and what they really said:
Wendy: Mr. Hendrickson. How are you this morning? (I so know that you are practicing that dirty, dirty polygamy, you pig!)
Bill: Never been better, Wendy. (I will cut you.) Thank you. (Fuck you.)
It turns out that Bill has had Don ransack her desk, complete with photocopies of all of the dirt she’s pulled up on Bill and his family, as well as records of her emails and Internet activity. Bill jumps right to “She was targeting me!” But Don tries to calm him down by pointing out that all they know is that she was interested. Bill can’t handle all of this drama, so he wants a basis to fire her by the end of the week. Don hems and haws, forcing Bill to admit that he’s not 100% sure that it was she who outed them.
“But I’ve got ten souls in my charge,” he argues. “And if I can’t protect them, what kind of man am I?” Because I am a dork, I did the math on my own and he is right. For once.
Now he wants Don to tap her phone. “Tap her phone?! I can’t tap a phone!” Heh. But Bill walks all over him just like he walks all over his wives.
Summer school registration. Summer School Lady, Julie, apologizes for what happened at the Mother of the Year thing. “We were rooting for you,” she tells Barb. And I really thought she was being sincere here. But then she asks if Barb was planning on getting back to teaching any time soon. Barb falters a little and says that she hoped to. Julie just makes an “hmm” noise and smiles awkwardly at Barb, without saying anything. Barb is concerned.
Home Plus. Joey has stopped by to update Bill on the whole Alby-getting-poisoned thing. He’s been transferred to a private clinic and rumors have been flying. First, it was that he’d had kidney failure, then that he’d gotten a kidney transplant, then that he’d died on the operating table. And Joey rattles all of this off as if it’s not completely absurd. Heh.
Bill seems to be following until the dying part and gets all, “whoa, whoa, whoa,” explaining that you can’t get a kidney that fast and that they’d obviously have heard if Alby had died.
Apparently, Wanda is going to be questioned at a Good and Welfare Meeting. That sounds like a fun thing, but apparently it’s not. Bill is not really concerned and Lois is not really sympathetic to Crazy Wanda. We learn that Wanda has done this before, to Joey’s boss in Phoenix. Joey thought she was better, due to “vitamins and exercise.” Isn’t that what Tom Cruise prescribes for his patients?
Bill says they’ll get her some real help and also points out that she could obviously be arrested, as could the three of them for being accessories in a cover-up after the fact. “His kidneys could still fail,” Lois adds hopefully. Bill just sighs, all “Why me?”
Sister Wife Central. Barb and Sarah come home and Sarah suggests that not everyone knows or cares. Barb admits that when she thinks about the look on Sarah’s face at the Mother of the Year thing, she “just wants to die.” “It’s okay, Mom,” Sarah assures her. “I get called Plyggy every day at work.” Hee. Barb doesn’t think it’s as funny as I do.
“I don’t want the choices that I’ve made – the things that have happened to me – to ruin your life.” Sarah tells her to stop, but Barb plunges forward, asking her if she’d like to change schools or go out of state for college. “I want you to have choices.”
But Sarah is having none of it, telling her mother to take her off her worry list. She’s okay. Barb does not look like she feels any better.
Home Plus. Margene is shopping (yay Margie!), when she sees Nicki up ahead of her. She catches up.
Margene: What are you doing here?
Nicki: What does it look like I’m doing? What are you doing here?
Margene: Nicki! I said I would do the shopping.
Nicki: No, Margie, I said I would do it.
Margene: Maybe you’re not the only one who can do things.
Nicki: Don’t get snippy. (oh, is that the pot calling the kettle black, or what?)
Margene: Well, you asked for it.
Nicki: There’s gotta be a strong center or things will not hold. The way Barb is going, who knows when she’ll be back on her feet. So, whether you like it or not, this is a role that I have to take on. It’s for Barb, it’s for Bill. It’s for all of us.
I get her point, but she needs to delegate, like Barb did. And she needs to stop acting like Margie is one of her kids instead of her sister wife. Also? It’s a nice touch that Margie has the mat in her cart. I luff continuity. ConYay!
Anyway! Nicki sees Wendy standing a bit away and looks like she’s about to go psycho on her ass. And if you remember the smack down she gave Barb’s sister last year, you know she means business. Margie intervenes, however, and they continue their shopping. But not before Wendy notices them, too.
Stay tuned for Part 2!
Miss Cordy is a senior at the University of Central Florida in Orlando. She is seeking a double-major in Political Science and Advertising / Public Relations. She has written for her local newspaper, focusing on the world of entertainment — movies and television. Her favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings series and her favorite TV shows are Heroes, Lost, The Amazing Race and Dancing with the Stars. 
