Season 2, Episode 1: Aired on June 11, 2007.
Part 3 (Pt 2) (Pt 1)
This is the last part, I swear!
Home Plus. Don expresses his concern that things might be awkward, what with him having to work with Bill and then go home and hang out with Bill’s wife. Bill? Not concerned. “(Barb)’s making this into something much bigger than it is.”
Don: Apparently, this type of thing happens a lot with regular married people.
Heh. I really love Don. He’s just so nice and unassuming and the exact opposite of Bill, who says that he keeps thinking, “What would Abraham Lincoln do?”
Wait a sec. Was Lincoln a polygamist and I somehow didn’t know? After consulting Wikipedia, it doesn’t appear that he was, so I really don’t know what Bill thinks he and ol' Abe have in common. Also, Microsoft does not like the word “wikipedia.” Anyway, Don wants Bill to come to his prayer group but Bill is not interested.
Sister Wife Central. Nicki and Adaleen are having lemonade and gossiping. Adaleen says that Roman’s busy, of course, with all the banning of music that he’s been doing. Nicki approves of this, to the surprise of no one. Now they just need Kevin Bacon to come in, so that he can teach Chris Penn how to dance and plan a prom. Adaleen informs Nicki that Alby thinks his poisoning was a conspiracy involving “your husband’s brother,” which Nicki deems “ridiculous.” Adaleen admits that she and her sister wives all suspect each other, which I find really funny for some reason.
Nicki reveals her marriage problems, what with Barb leaving and everything. “Margene’s care has fallen to me,” Nicki sighs heavily and dramatically. She’s worried that she’s not prepared to be first wife and says that she feels there’s a special place in hell for the person who did this to Barb. She assumes it was Wendy and wants to teach her a lesson.
Adaleen: Do I understand what you’re asking, honey?
Nicki just looks at her and I have to admit that I wasn’t sure what Nicki was asking until I saw the Hummer stalking Wendy later in the episode. Oops! Spoiler! Adaleen tells her to stay strong and then gives her a gun sent from Roman. “For your protection. Be careful, it’s loaded.”
Home Plus. Don is listening in on Wendy’s phone calls and hears her discussing her sick cat with a friend. However, Don seems to have thought that she was talking about a person this whole time, so when she mentions a litter box, he is surprised and says “Oh god,” into the phone, which Wendy could apparently hear. She looks around and because Don is a moron (he’s sweet, but still a moron) and has left his office blinds open, she sees that he’s on the phone and looking guilty.
Juniper Creek. Joey has gotten himself a lawyer, who tells Roman that they want the investigation taken out of Juniper Creek’s jurisdiction and transferred to the state. Roman will consider it and then interrogates the lawyer about his religious views. He is LDS and Roman clearly does not approve. He argues that you can’t change religion on a whim. Joey and the lawyer leave, walking by Rhonda who is playing … something with some young boy. Don’t they usually run the young boys off the compound? Why is Roman letting his young bride finagle with a boy her own age?
Margie and Nicki are sitting in their car outside Home Plus, talking to Bill on the phone, who is standing across the parking lot. Margie is filling them in on her convo with Barb and the finality of her tone. Nicki tells him to either go bring her home or “cut her loose – a free break,” and make her first wife. Bill rightly tells her she’s being “a bit extreme and a little alarming.”
Margie starts talking to herself, sounding slightly crazy: “I’m sitting around, happy as a clam. Poof! My family collapses around me. The story of my life.” Then, she quotes to Bill (by yelling in the phone, which Nicki is holding) what Barb told her about it “going further back than you think.”
Wayne (or Raymond) takes this opportunity to poke his head out of the open window (child lock, ladies!) and scream at his Daddy. Bill tries to wave discreetly. Hee. As Nicki and Margie try to talk some sense into their ass of a husband, we see the back door of the car swing open behind them. Uh-oh.
The boys hop out and neither mom is the wiser. Nicki says that he has to do something, right as he spots the boys running toward him and bugs his eyes out. Margie sees them too and gets this hilarious "oh shit" expression on her face before hopping out and running after them. Bill is trying to shoo them away when Margie runs up and grabs their hands and steers them back toward the car. That was really funny. I want more scenes like that, with children running toward their father and getting shooed away and ignored.
Bill gets all woe-is-me and lists all of his burdens and it’s not worth getting in to. He blows off his second and third wives and storms inside, where he is confronted with Wendy telling him that she is getting a lawyer and that he cannot harass her. She resents Bill and Don ganging up on her and bullying her. You know, I like Wendy. Yes, she’s kind of a bigot, but she’s not afraid to stand up for what she believes in or to go up against Bill, and that I can always get behind.
He tries to get her to calm down, but she knows that he’s trying to get rid of her “because of what happened at the Governor’s Mansion, which I told you I had nothing to do with, but you won’t believe me!” But, she says they both know that she knows who and what he is. “Now, you listen to me,” Bill says, standing up. Oh no, Daddy’s mad! He says he’s not asking anything of her and asks if she understands what he’s saying. “Yes,” she says. “You’re trying to tell me that I don’t know what I know I know.” Oh, let’s not get into the whole they-don’t-know-that-we-know-they-know-we-know thing. Friends has perfected it.
He basically threatens that he’ll sue her to protect his corporate reputation, which, from some of my law and Ad/PR classes that I’ve taken, I think he can actually do. She really has no proof and she’d essentially be defaming his reputation, which could hurt Home Plus and for which he could therefore sue. She storms out.
Sister Wife Central. Barb is trying to sneak in and get some things, but runs into Sarah, who asks if she’s back. Nope, not just yet. Sarah asks her if she thinks Bill will go with her if she leaves and Barb just says she doesn’t know. Sarah then admits that Bill is driving her to work and will therefore be there in five minutes. Barb says okay, kisses Sarah, and then bolts. “I’ll bring you some things!” Sarah calls. Aw. She’s a good daughter. Unlike her alter ego, Lilly Kane. Man, this show loves those Veronica Mars kids, don’t they?
Juniper Creek. Roman is bullying and manipulating Joey. He wants Joey to promise him votes on the UEB Council, and he’ll make the whole investigation go away. Then, he shows Joey a scrapbook-type thing that has Wanda’s picture in it and some other information. The cover says “Bridal Registry.” I wasn’t sure what this was at first, but then Roman goes on to say that he could reassign her to another righteous man, like Alby or Joey’s father, Frank. So, I’m thinking that the book is a list of all the women at Juniper Creek and who they’re married to, and that Roman can basically dictate who they marry and how long they stay married. Or something. Joey looks concerned.
Home Plus. Wendy is leaving for the day, wearing sneakers and carrying her heels in her hand. I find this adorable. No need to walk in heels when you don’t have to! A Hummer pulls up behind her and we all know what that means. But, in case you don’t, it means that Adaleen has sent someone to scare Wendy into submission. Roman’s henchmen typically drive Hummers. She gets in her car and manages to back out of her space, but then she totally freaks out when the Hummer comes charging at her and she crashes her car, getting knocked out by the airbag.
We are at a church, in an assembly hall. We hear Sarah’s voice. “Hi, I’m Laurie. I know this is a group for ex-Mormons and I’m not really a Mormon anymore. I mean, my father and mother – they became fundamentalists. Polygamists. My little sister thinks it’s normal and I don’t. I just don’t. And I’m thinking about leaving this whole thing. Um … it’s not like – it’s not like the compounds you see on TV, we’re more like, we’re more like regular LDS, except for the fact that we have to … we have to hide from the church and from everybody. Um … and … I just really don’t have anybody to talk to. I hate it. I just feel like … I’m living the most dishonest life … of everybody in Sandy, Utah.” Bravo, Amanda. Well done.
When she finishes, there is silence. We cut to her storming out, with some guy calling after her. He has glasses, combs his hair to the side and generally looks like a big dork. He’s cute. He asks where she’s going and she says she’s going home to her 182 brothers and sisters. Hee. He introduces himself as Scott and asks if she’s okay. She says no, actually, she felt like a freak and he explains that they’ve never had a polygamist before. He doesn’t want her to leave all upset and further explains that the people in the meeting obviously just don’t know where she’s coming from and therefore don’t know how to support her. He wants to find someone who does, so he gives her his card and tells her to call him. I think I smell a romance. Anyone else?
Embry House. Which is huge and gorgeous and is totally my dream house. The sister wives sit on the front porch and Barb tells them that she wants to get a Masters in social work. In fact, she’d like to be a marriage counselor. I actually think she’d be lovely at that. Nicki tries to get Margie to go away by asking her to go get more hot water, but Margie awesomely just says, “No.” Nicki gets all drama queen with her exasperated “Fine!” She then turns to Barb and demands to know what she’s doing. Barb and Bill were sealed in a temple and she can’t just leave. Nicki goes on to say that she didn’t just marry Bill. “I married you and Bill. And I need that back.” She tells Barb that Bill will do this with her or without her, by which I guess she means the plural marriage. I don’t understand Nicki. One second, she’s practically scheming to be first wife and now she’s all trying to talk her into coming home. The mind, it boggles.
Bill is meeting with the guy from the First Lady’s Office. They don’t know who exposed them, or they’re protecting the identity of who did it. The Attorney General has no interest in pursuing the case, so Bill should just let it go. It’s been an embarrassment for everybody, but Bill has paid his taxes, so as long as he keeps his hands off of underage girls, he’ll be fine! Bill does not like the judgment, but he just wants to live peacefully with his family. He is told, “Then drop it.”
Somewhere in the Nevada Desert. Oh, wait. This isn’t Heroes. We’re in Utah. Bill prays and gets a bit weepy.
Embry House. Bill kneels on the living room floor with Don, Ben, Beaver and some other guys.
Bill: I believe in the covenant of family. I believe in the covenant of plural marriage. I believe family is the key to celestial heaven. We’ve taken up our heavenly Father’s challenge – lived the principle of plural marriage at a time when it is most difficult. I believe it is my duty to keep my family together on this Earth and I pray for the guidance to do just that. To hold my family together.
That was one of the few times I liked Bill. Also? They need to give Beaver something to do. He barely spoke in this episode and all he did first season was obsess over Ben’s sex life and his penis. Hey, I have an idea. They should hook him up with Heather. Wouldn’t that be great? Too bad we don’t know if they have good chemistry or anything. It’d be really convenient if they’d been in something else together.
Bill heads upstairs to talk to Barb, who is locked in Beaver’s room. Peg tells him Bard doesn’t want to see him, but then points out which room she’s in. Heh. Peg is pretty awesome. No wonder Don can’t handle her like Bill handles his wives. Anyway, Barb will not answer, so Bill points out that she can’t blame him for something she signed on for. She argues that she only did it for him and that this isn’t supposed to be her life. He asks what she wants.
Barb: Maybe this whole thing has been a mistake.
Bill: Our family is not a mistake! Nicki, Margene, Wayne, Raymond, Ben and Sarah, Teeny, Aaron, and Lester are not a mistake.
I’m kind of surprised he came up with all of those names off the top of his head. And it’s interesting that he listed his and Nicki’s kids first, as opposed to his eldest.
Barb: Don’t you lecture me on my family! I sacrificed our love for the love I have for this family.
Bill looks over at Don and his wives, and Don shuts their bedroom door. But, we don’t get to hear what Bill or Barb says next for some reason.
Sister Wife Central. Roman calls and offers his condolences to Bill for the trials that the Hendrickson family has been going through. “On this, we stand as one. As family must,” he says and then just hangs up. Creeepy.
Drums of doom. Wait, what? Why are there drums? Oh! Pam and Carl have planned a luau, you see. Because they are big dorks. They seriously have a huge tiki hut in their backyard and they are wearing Hawaiian shirts and leis. I just adore them. They engage in small talk and Pam asks about Margene, but in the way that you ask someone about a spouse. Bill looks alarmed and Pam clarifies by asking, “Do you see her much?” Bill just says he thinks she’s fine. You know, this scene kind of confirmed for me that Pam does know what’s going on but that she’s okay with it because she loves Margene. I may be wrong, but that’s the impression I got. Carl keeps babbling and I really have no idea what he’s talking about.
Just then, Barb come hustling out and says that her meeting ended early. Bill looks at Pam and Carl awkwardly and says that he told them she had a headache. Barb totally plays it off, admitting that they had a squabble. She joins them and Pam brings up Mother of the Year, but in the wow-you’re-awesome way and not the you-got-outed way. Barb admits that it was a disappointment due to the disqualification, which she says was because of her grandmother’s fleeting past friendship with the Governor which brought up nepotism. I found this interesting because Pam and Carl look surprised to hear about the disqualification, which got me thinking that most people probably just think she didn’t win and don’t know about her being disqualified.
Pam and Carl look suitably upset for her and then Pam admits that they didn’t think Bill and Barb liked them. Barb makes “Nonsense!” noises. But then Pam brings up Nicki (“A real polygamist living on our street!”) and how they thought Bill and Barb took her side. She says that’s why Margie broke up with them. Barb tells her no, Margie broke up with them because she’s pregnant again and she thought they’d judge her. HAH! Barb is so smooth. Pam and Carl don’t even know what to say.
Bill and Barb walk across the street. He tells her she was great and asks her to come inside. She wants to discuss it right here. He says he’s tried to make things right but he needs to know if she’s with him – with this family. Then, he apologizes. I know. Pick your jaws up off the floor. Barb, smartly, asks him, “For what?”
He admits that he pushed her into plural marriage because he knew she’d do it for him. He took advantage of her and her love and he’s sorry. I believe him.
Barb: I’m not the wife I was for those first twelve years. That marriage ended. I can’t keep pretending to be who we were. What happened made me realize how angry I’d been at you.
Bill: Something good is gonna come from all this. I swear. (pause) Are you coming inside?
Barb opens her car door, but only gets her bag out. She walks right up to him and he takes her bag. Nicki and Margene watch from the window and only turn away when they see them heading inside. All is not well. But it will be.
Okay, I promise that I’m really gonna try to keep it shorter next time! I just need to get used to it. Thanks for hanging in there and see you next week!
Miss Cordy is a senior at the University of Central Florida in Orlando. She is seeking a double-major in Political Science and Advertising/Public Relations. She has written for her local newspaper, focusing on the world of entertainment — movies and television. Her favorite movies are the Lord of the Rings series and her favorite TV shows are Heroes, Lost, The Amazing Race and Dancing with the Stars.
